I Love Violent Acres

There’s a blog I love to read called Violent Acres. (www.violentacres.com) .

The woman who writes it (or whoever, who can tell on the internet?) also manages property—although her blog is not just on that topic—and she is just the sort of bitch I wish I could be: she’s overly opinionated and harsh, but well thought-out and articulated. Who knew I would aspire to grow up and be an effective bitch? My parents are so proud.

Here, for your reading pleasure, are 2 of my favorites, both about having / raising children . It’s a topic I think about a lot because I am constantly dealing with the loser, drug-dealing boyfriends of the tenants who are single women with children, and at my other job I help a lot of very low income people with a lot of children.

Follow the link, or just keep reading…
http://www.violentacres.com/archives/185/it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children

It Is Your Job To Financially Provide for Your Children. Also, Neglect is Child Abuse

This might sound harsh, but I’m going to say it anyway because I’m just that kind of bitch.
If you purposely have a child that you cannot afford, you are a child abuser.
Now whenever I say something like this, people deliberately try to twist the points I’m making because they’re really invested in the idea that the world is filled with perpetual victims. So I’m going to beat them to the punch here and disclaim right away that this is not a class issue, or a race issue, or a goddamn sex issue. This is a common sense issue.

When I say you must be able to afford the child you bring into the world, I mean you must be able to provide the basic necessities for your child to survive. I am not implying you need to be ‘rich’ to have kids. I am simply stating if you can’t afford to feed, clothe and shelter your children without government assistance, then you are neglecting them. It does not take much money to provide basic necessities for a child. I know of one single Mother out there that does quite well in this regard working a full time job at a fast food restaurant. You don’t need to be incredibly wealthy to have kids. But you should know how to financially prioritize a household. A kid can go without cable television. He cannot go without a winter coat.

Neglect is just as much child abuse as beatings or sexual exploitation. Furthermore, just because your child doesn’t suffer the symptoms of neglect (Because the government has stepped in and fed him when you didn’t) doesn’t mean you didn’t fail your child as a parent. Arguably, the most significant role a parent plays in a child’s life is that of a provider. If you cannot provide for your children, you have no business raising them.

I do realize that accidents happen and sometimes you are faced with a burden that you are not quite ready for. Also, tragedies in life do sometimes occur and a once ideal situation can be destroyed in the event of sickness, death, etc. Of course, as a parent, it is your job to prepare as much as you possibly can for these tragedies, but no one is perfect. In cases like these, receiving a helping hand from society is not a shameful act. I am not referring to you as child abusers in this scenario.

Who I am referring to are the people who constantly promote the idea that we should ‘Have children when we’re young! The money issue will work itself out!’ I have heard this phrase repeated ad nauseam throughout American Culture and it makes me absolutely sick to hear it. It very covertly encourages people to risk becoming child abusers as they hope for money to fall from the sky in the wake of tough times. It also subtly insists that the youth of a parent matters more to the wellbeing of a child than the parent’s ability to provide for said child.

My counter is, Love your children more than that. Love them enough to work your ass off to create the most optimal home situation you are capable of creating before bringing them into the world. Love them enough to want to start them off in life ready to race, as opposed to starting them off ten steps behind all the other kids.

Throwing caution to the wind and attempting to conceive despite your poor financial position is indicative of a childlike mentality. Love your child enough to wait until you’re an adult who is emotionally mature enough to raise him.

Another group I find fault with is the Kid Sex Lottery Jackasses. These are the people who are so obsessed with having a child who is a particular sex that they will keep having kids in order to win the ‘Kid Sex Lottery’ without any regard to how they will be able to support their family. A good example of this is the parents who have 3 sons they can barely support, yet will purposely keep trying for a little girl. They worry more about how their family photos will look than they worry about the fact that they’re barely keeping their heads above water as it is. Not only is this attitude abusive to the children they already have, but it’s abusive to that elusive, unborn little girl.

A child deserves to grow up in an environment where they feel safe and cared for. They deserve food, shelter, clothing, medical treatment, and an education. Most of all, they deserve the piece of mind they get when they receive these things from their parents, as opposed to government agencies who inadvertently create feelings of inferiority who just might not always exist. If you are unwilling or unable to provide these basic necessities for your child without the help of the government or society, you are not parenting them. You are babysitting them.

And don’t give me any of that crap where you ask hypothetical questions like, “If you asked a child to choose between a loving family and a family who has money to support him, what would he pick?”
The question is asinine and obvious and it implies that financially stable people don’t love their kids, but I will answer it anyway:
BOTH, YOU FUCKING MORONS, BOTH.
A child shouldn’t have to choose between a loving family and financially stable home life. He should get both, by default. Again, I will state that the primary role a parent must adopt is that of provider. This includes a provider of love just as much as a provider of food and shelter. Just because you’re really good at the love part doesn’t negate your responsibility to provide the shelter part. Don’t make your kids “choose” between hugs and food to justify your failure as a parent.

Again, I say, love your kids more than that.

Where are the Baby Factories? On Livejournal, Of Course!

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/198/where-are-the-baby-factories-on-livejournal-of-course

When I made the case that people who pop out children willy nilly without any regard whatsoever as to how they’re going to pay for said children are child abusers, a lot of people reacted in disbelief.
“Where does V find all of these people who just have baby after baby?” they asked, “I’ve never known a single person to behave in such a fashion!”

My response is don’t you people read the fucking Internet? I could give myself an aneurism reading posts from women who can’t support their children but just really, really, really want some more. Also, you have to keep in mind that these women are posting on computers with Internet connections. They can’t afford a jar of peanut butter to feed their kids, but they sure as fuck manage to work a subscription to AOL into their monthly budget!

Take, for instance, the woman who goes by the handle ‘Ghostmommylady. (GML)’ I ran across her dribble just today after she posted bitching about some poor customer service she supposedly received and someone used a link to my article as a rebuttal. To spare you all the horror of actually clicking over to her posts, I’m going to quote her most relevant comments here. You’re welcome.
GML starts out with a letter to ‘Inconsiderate asswipes:’

“Yes, I have three children. Yes, all three children are under the age of 4, although the oldest will BE 4 in November. Yes, I’m pregnant again.

Yes, I was taking birth control. No, I’m sure I didn’t miss any days. Yes, I’m sure that these kids are mine, that I want them, and that I DO want kid #4 (who we’ve finally picked out a name for).
SO FUCK OFF, ASSHOLES…and stop treating me like shit JUST BECAUSE I WANT A LARGE FAMILY!”

I absolutely do not have anything against large families. Although, I would make the case that 4 children under the age of 4 would be incredibly difficult for even the best Mother/Father team to parent effectively. However, it can be done and as long as it’s being done well, it’s really none of my business. This is presuming, of course, that 4 children fit into the family budget.
Unfortunately, in GML’s case, 4 children do not fit into the family budget. After her letter to the asswipes of the world, she explains the confrontation she had in a grocery store that spurned her rant. Let’s just say it doesn’t paint a pretty picture.

“To explain this rant…
I picked up my WIC checks and headed out to get some stuff. The cashier I got was a youngish woman, probably early to mid 20’s ….. My kids behaved themselves (for a change…the girls are notorious for being little brats at times)…..This woman asks me if I’m baby sitting. I tell her no, that all three of these kids are mine. I have to give her my ID with my WIC checks, so my birthdate is pretty freaking obvious on my driver’s license. She stares at it, and then at me, and then back at my license. Then she makes some comment about me looking pregnant to her bagger. Not to me…to her CO-WORKER. Me being the way I am, I told her that I was pregnant. She asked me point blank if I’d ever heard of something called birth control.

I had my groceries at that point, so I just walked off. I went to the service desk and complained about the cashier to the manager. The manager said he’d take care of it, and was in the process of telling her off as I walked out. The kicker? She made a comment that pissed me off even more as I walked out. “She’s a fucking bottom feeder,…. She’s just having kids so she can stay on welfare.”

FUCK YOU, BITCH! My husband doesn’t make enough money to support a family of five.”

There you have it, folks. Her husband doesn’t make enough money to support a family of 5, but she feels entitled to go ahead and have one anyway. Why not? The government will pick up the slack!
One can also deduce by the way the cashier looked at her driver’s license that this woman is particularly young. On top of that, she says her children are “notorious for being little brats,” so it doesn’t sound to me like she’s doing a very good job raising them. I have nothing to go on but this woman’s own description of what went down and already I have a bit of sympathy for that cashier.
What cracks me up about this whole post is her high and mighty attitude. She snidely puts the cashier down, making fun of the fact that she’s wearing a “ton of make up” and has “bleached blonde hair.” Not once does she consider that cashiers, as taxpaying citizens, are feeding her children.

I’ve said this before, but parents who can not provide food and necessities for their children are not parents. They are babysitters. In the case of GML, the citizens of the country she lives in are providing for her kids, so it’s the citizens who are the real parents. Not only that, but they didn’t ask to be pseudo-parents to her children. She forced them into it via her poor life choices. So excuse the hell out of them if they tend to get a little annoyed when they see her fucking up their kids.
For all this woman knows, the cashier has a child of her own at home who she loves enough to work her ass off to support. And every dollar of her paycheck that gets siphoned off to some government sponsored program that promotes an irresponsible victim mentality is just another dollar out of her kid’s mouth. You know, the kid she actually wants to support.

Or, maybe the cashier is just a single girl that wants to spend all of her money on make-up and hair dye. Either way, it’s her money. She worked for it. Why should she give it to people like this? They’ll only piss it all away while simultaneously breeding the next generation of perpetual charity cases.
I love how women like this claim to love their children. They’d step in front of a bus for their children! They’d do anything for their children! They’d do anything, of course, but get a fucking job to support their children. As a taxpaying citizen, I’d rather pay for the majority of a family’s childcare expenses, (thereby making the prospect of a job ‘worth it’ to them) rather than pay them to sit around suckling from the government teat.

As far as I’m concerned, when the cashier called her a ‘bottom feeder,’ she was being kind. I would have referred to her as a child abuser, guilty of neglect. I would have roped her in with the pedophiles and the psychopaths that put cigars out on their children’s backs. She’s no better. Children are the only people on this planet who can seriously claim 100% victim status. Those who abuse them are not worthy of respect, courtesy, kindness, or compassion. They don’t deserve ‘good service.’ They deserve a jail cell.

Again, I’m going to quote GML’s last sentence of her letter because I really think it says it all.
“SO FUCK OFF, ASSHOLES…and stop treating me like shit JUST BECAUSE I WANT A LARGE FAMILY!”

Do you hear that assholes? She wants a large family. And she wants you, dear taxpayer, to provide her with the means to get it! Should you question her in any way, shape, or form, she will respond with righteous indignation! After all, here in America, everyone should get everything they want free of charge, right?

On the other hand, I’m betting her children want parents who aren’t such deadbeats.

Whose needs should we be catering to again?